And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Randomize
