Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize