would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
