My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
