There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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