exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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