this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
