So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I need to sanitize my soul.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
