Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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