guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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