Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
