I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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