Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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