dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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