You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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