Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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