Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
