Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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