Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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