I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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