yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
