Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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