T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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