Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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