is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
