It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
