Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
