Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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