i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
