Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
