I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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