thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
