You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
