Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
