Christians are straight up FREAKS
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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