foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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