Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
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you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
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Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
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