I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
