they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
