Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
