We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
