Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
