I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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