She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
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