ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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