why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
