Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
