I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
