Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
