So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
