Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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