Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
