I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
