is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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