..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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