I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
