Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
God I need to hump something, right now.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
