Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
