i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
