too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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