Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
