Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
3 2 1 whiskey
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize