I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
