What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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